Ten Green Vegetables

Ten green vegetables, picked from Hammonds' farm; And if one green vegetable should accidentally be a bit bent, only nine green vegetables will be sent to the shops.

Or be a bit discoloured, or too big, or....so probably only seven green vegetables will actually make it to our tables. As I learned on Monday from a BBC programme presented by Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, who is campaigning to save farmers the crops and therefore money they have to throw away, and to reduce the waste we as a consumer society produce.

I could get all sentimental about that poor unwanted, slightly misshapen carrot which took as much love, work, sun and rain to grow as its brothers and sisters, yet while its superior siblings achieved their dream of gracing the shelves of Tesco or Morrisons, our poor root veg ended up - literally - on the scrap heap. For even when less than perfect carrots may be diced and used for 'stew packs', yesterday's programme showed mountains of carrots destined for either animal fodder or - in the summertime when fish are jumping and the grass is high - the rubbish tip.

Even without the sentiment, I am left wondering what has become of our society. This very week we are commemorating the seventieth anniversary of the end of World War II, and there are still plenty of folk who remember the rationing and deprivations of this period. Throwing away vegetables - or any foodstuff - would have been then and still is now - anathema to such people.

In the forties, the population were encouraged to 'grow your own' to supplement the meagre supplies of food, and do you think anyone would have consigned a single carrot grown in their back garden or allotment to the bin because it was a bit curved, or too long? If fruit did survive long enough to go a bit ripe and squishy, it was used to make crumbles or pies, jams and jellies - perhaps even fruit lollies as we were shown, should the householder be fortunate enough to have a freezer!

My dad came from a farming background and used to pull carrots from the ground, hastily wash them under a tap if anyone was looking (brush them on his trousers if not) and eat. Not only did he not check to see if his food was the right shape, but he consumed in this way a good helping of dirt, containing bacteria which he always said boosted his immune system and protected him against so many of the bugs and viruses attacking children today. Even in the seventies he was lamenting the introduction of hermetically sealed plastic bags of fruit and veg that are now commonplace. Plastic which adds to the waste and unlike its natural contents does not decompose and feed the soil.

Ah - the seventies! One of my favourite Saturday night programmes in those days was 'That's Life' in which Esther Rantzen displayed her teeth and new outfit while giving us a combination of Watchdog, 'You've Been Framed' and Live at the Apollo. It always featured, among topical songs and poems, consumer advice and spoof street box pops, an example of a rudely shaped vegetable. Oh parsnip shaped like a willy and balls, where are you today?

On the scrap heap, that's where.

So what can we do about it? Well, judging by the two cloned Morrisons PA men they interviewed, not a lot: they mouthed platitudes about giving the customer what they want but remained unmoved by the statistics presented showing not only the waste, but the cancelled orders to farms leaving the farmers with huge amounts of carefully harvested crops with nowhere to send them.

'They don't have to do business with us,' one declared. 'Why don't they sell the elsewhere?'

Answer: because a) most supermarkets tie farmers into exclusive contracts; b) the sheer volume of produce ordered by one of the main supermarkets can't be matched by all the independent shops left in the country - because the supermarkets have been busy putting them out of business, and c) have you ever tried ringing round at 2am when the next day's order has just been cancelled, asking who wants ten tons of parsnips which have already been harvested and need to be eaten within the next few days?

They had done a pseudo-survey by placing some bent courgettes - in bags - next to some straight ones, labelling them 'Ugly Courgettes', pricing them the same and tracking how many sold compared to the normal stock.

Well, surprise surprise, they didn't sell as well, thus proving - according to Messrs Spreadsheet - that bent vegetables are not what the customer wants.

Can I suggest that most customers probably thought either that this was a gimmick or that the new kid on the block was a different strain of courgette, and stuck to what they were familiar with? We all know we are creatures of habit and we won't try something different unless we see a benefit to us. The presenter also pointed out that the bent courgettes appeared less fresh than the normal produce, and this alone could account for the lower popularity.

So how about, to be fair, putting up a sign stating that Morrisons are looking for ways to reduce waste and that these courgettes would otherwise be thrown away? How about selling them loose so the customers can actually pick them up and look at them rather than suspect they're in a package for a reason? How about, given that they are destined for the waste bin, pricing them a few pence cheaper than the 'top quality' product? Or at least ensure both products are equally fresh? And then see what the customers do?

We can sign the petition here: https://wastenotuk.com/

In addition, perhaps when we go into our local supermarket - Morrisons were featured on the programme but I'm sure the others are equally questionable in their practices - perhaps we could ask a few pointed questions about the range of fruit and veg on offer and make it clear that we would be happy to chop up an over large carrot or eat a bent banana. The taste and nutrition is the same, and when you eat a plate of stew do you really know - or care - what the ingredients looked like raw as long as they were fresh and edible?

Go on - let the supermarkets know how you feel.

Or better still - buy your fruit and veg from the local farm shop or grow and eat your own! Bent carrots and all!