It is now ‘normal’ to get up at whatever time feels right; to eat when hunger calls; to drink tea or coffee almost continuously through the day; to not look at the clock but to start an activity when I finish the previous one, or when I want to. Even more weirdly, it is now normal to convene in front of the TV around 5pm to watch the Government Briefing, followed by the Six O’Clock News – that is our news ration for the day.
I didn’t write last week because I spent the week feeling partly a bit down, but mainly lacking in energy as I assimilated the situation. I’m normally a pretty positive person, but the current circumstances are trying for us all, and I think it’s absolutely right to be kind to yourself when you need to be, and allow yourself to….just be.
Part of last week’s problem was looking into my diary which confidently announces that in the two weeks leading up to Easter I was helping front of house with a production in Bembridge; rehearsing for Hamlet at the Castle, attending several musical evenings and undertaking final rehearsals and preparations for The Savoyards’ Kipps which we were performing over Easter. Yeah….I know. Glum face.
This week I have resumed my accustomed, more active, lifestyle and have discovered the benefits of being able to choose how I spend my time. Yes, there are the necessaries like shopping (which I really hate right now – especially since I keep coming home with NO BREAD FLOUR OR YEAST!!), cleaning (to which I have my usual attitude of it has to be done but there are far more interesting ways of spending my life) and cooking, which I actually enjoy.
Other than that though, I appear to be assuming the lifestyle of a Georgian or Victorian lady (I have always had feelings about my natural station in life…š). I am choosing to spend time sitting in the garden reading – no surprise there, for anyone who knows me. I am actually gardening – only the light stuff, you understand, but I enjoy watching the seeds I have planted germinate and grow.
I have gone back to my old love of music and am playing the piano, guitar and my new baby – my banjolele. This interest is encouraged by my husband’s guitar playing and the Ventnor Guitar Club’s now weekly Zoom Open Mic sessions, at which I have been inveigled into performing with hubby.
I am sewing – my thirteenth century dress is complete save for the hat and belt, and will be followed up by a Tudor gown; I have gone back to a very old cross stitch project which really only needs a few hours’ work to be complete. Why? Because I can!
So as I count my blessings, which I am doing quite frequently at the moment, rather than concentrating on what I am missing, one of the first delights is the freedom to choose what I am spending most of my time doing every day. I am also immensely grateful for the presence of my husband, knowing there are so many couples kept apart at the moment by work requirements and so on. I am also grateful for the presence of his shed where he keeps the oily, fiddly bits and pieces he uses to repair ticket machines and guitars. Yes I know – but it keeps him happy, bless him…
Yes I miss my children, family, friends, rehearsals and socialising, but I am grateful that I can keep in contact with them on the phone, using video calls and on social media: in particular, I am so grateful for those who post regularly to charge little details of their life for us to enjoy reading and feel we’re staying in touch – thank you, those who so that. It’s a good feeling that we are all in this together, getting through it as best we can, each in their own way, and ready to exchange hugs just as soon as we can.
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