Lying awake the other night, my mind started moving without my permission - like it does - towards the way the current pandemic might have impacted on the plots of famous stories and plays. By the time I went back to sleep. I’d visualised what Macbeth might look like if Covid had hit 11th Century Scotland...
Macbeth
ACT I
SCENE I. A desert place.
Thunder and lightning. Enter three Witches.
FIRST WITCH
When shall we three meet again
In thunder, lightning, or in rain?
SECOND WITCH
When the vaccination’s done,
When the lockdown’s been and gone.
THIRD WITCH
That’ll take most of 2021…..
FIRST WITCH
Where the place?
SECOND WITCH
Upon the heath.
THIRD WITCH
There to meet with Macbeth.
Loud cackles
SCENE 2 A Heath
Enter MACBETH and BANQUO
MACBETH
So foul and fair a day I have not seen.
BANQUO
What are these
So wither'd and so wild in their attire,
That look not like the inhabitants o' the earth,
And yet are on't?
THIRD WITCH
All hail, Macbeth, thou shalt be king hereafter!
BANQUO
Speak to me, who neither beg nor fear
Your favours nor your hate.
FIRST WITCH
Hail!
SECOND WITCH
Hail!
THIRD WITCH
Hold on – we’re only allowed to mix with one person from outside our household….
Exeunt witches
MACBETH
Stay, you imperfect speakers, tell me more…..
BANQUO
The earth hath bubbles, as each household has,
And these are not within our bubble. Have ye your mask on?
Infected be the earth on which they stood – come, we must sanitise….
SCENE 3
Enter LADY MACBETH, reading a letter
LADY MACBETH
'They met me in the day of success: and I have
learned by the perfectest report, they have more in
them than mortal knowledge…’
Glamis thou art, and Cawdor; and shalt be
What thou art promised:
Enter a Messenger
What is your tidings?
MESSENGER
The king comes here to-night.
LADY MACBETH
Is not thy master with him?
Messen
So please you, it is true: our thane is coming:
LADY MACBETH
Exit Messenger
The raven himself is hoarse
That croaks the fatal entrance of Duncan
Under my battlements. Come, you spirits…..
Enter Messenger
MESSENGER
My lady, we have just gone into Tier 4
The king cannot visit our household after all.
LADY MACBETH
Well that’s scuppered our plot then….
Might as well finish the play here.
THE END
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