Much Ado About Nothing.....Covid Style

 Turning my attention to another great Shakespeare play that could have gone slightly differently if the virus had hit........

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

SCENE I. Before LEONATO'S house.

Enter LEONATO, HERO, and BEATRICE, with a Messenger

LEONATO

I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon

comes this night to Messina.

BEATRICE

I pray you, is Signior Montanto returned from the

wars or no?

Messenger

I know none of that name, lady: there was none such

in the army of any sort.

LEONATO

What is he that you ask for, niece?

HERO

My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua.

Messenger

O, he's returned; and as pleasant as ever he was.

BEATRICE

But, I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young

squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

Messenger

He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio.

HERO

Ooh, he sounds nice….

MESSENGER

Don Pedro is approached.

Enter DON PEDRO, DON JOHN, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and BALTHASAR

DON PEDRO

 Signior Claudio and Signior Benedick, my dear friend Leonato hath invited you all. I tell him we shall stay here at the least a month; and he heartily prays some occasion may detain us longer. 

CLAUDIO (looking at Hero)

Hear hear….

HERO (blushing)

You are welcome sir.

LEONATO (checking his phone)

Dear sirs, it says here that Boris has imposed another lockdown. You must go straight home and not mix with anyone outside your household for at least six months.

CLAUDIO, HERO, BENEDICK and BEATRICE

Bugger…

DON JOHN – evil cackle.

THE END.